And there was a great battle...

In the 10 minutes or so before I need to refocus and get back to work let me tell you about my morning. So, El and I meet up with Eva Luna for our run this morning. We decide to take it easy because Eva Luna is getting over vertigo so she hasn't run for 2 days or so. El and I get back to the house and my dear husband ("DH") is cooking in the kitchen and he has only the oven light on. He walks over to the garbage can and says "oh no, the baby left dog food on the ground and ants are on it."

I grab a sponge and head over to investigate and terminate. Sure enough red ants are swarming on the food, I scoop it up, throw it away, pick up the trash can and it seems like there are more and more ants...then they start biting my feet and I can feel more of them coming up my legs. I panic and scream for DH to turn on the light. Instead he says "put down the trash can." I make it over to the dining room light and flip it on...and what do I see...

and more and more in fact a 5 inch thick red ant super highway that goes from the front door through the dining room to the kitchen, swarming, wriggling, pulsating red ants all stuck in an ant manic traffic jam across my house...now I am really freaked out...I run to the kitchen sink and grab the Clean Green and an entire roll of paper towels and start my own nuclear annihilation of these intruders...I can not even begin to explain how many freaking ants were in my house this morning...it was like they were throwing some mad ant rave and I was just some dumb unwitting warehouse owner... So I sprayed and I crushed and I sprayed and wiped and cursed and sprayed and smothered the ant 101...but no that is not enough they were a smart enemy and had also sent scouts to the living room where the baby had been eating crackers on a blanket in front of the television more than likely next to his brother and uncle probably also eating something...yes something crumbly...something cracker...something enticing for man and ANT...because now I see that some of these fire devils had taken an exit from the superhighway and were ALL OVER THE BLANKET...I pick it up and throw it outside...staring breathlessly at the wave of ants underneath the blanket and heading to the couch...so I grab my trusty 6-shooter of Clean Green and start spraying like mad...
started firing away... (Thank you Yosemite...but I really didn't feel like that I felt more like this)

In actuality, that is what I kept chanting to myself to keep my sanity...I am Shiva Lord of Destruction...you will not live here...you will be gone...as I periodically would jump and scream and swat myself because I felt like they were still crawling all over me and biting me...a feeling that I am still struggling with hours later and miles away from the battlefield...now I am just a paranoid mess sitting at work wondering, worrying...are those little buggers back in my house, have they regrouped since this mornings attack...did my message get through...will I come home and find that they have taken poor little Eleanor hostage...will I find some cruel note scrolled by the multiple hands of those ant evil doers that we must leave food out every night or we will never see our baby dog again! So now I must wait...I must trust that the defenses I left in place this morning will hold...and Eleanor, brave Eleanor who ran and burrowed into a pile of laundry this morning for protection and who was still there looking at me when I left like "what the hell was that...and why are they so mean" is okay...I must stay strong...regroup...plan...pray that DH remembers the ant poison on his way home tonight...focus...and then summon my inner because we can not let them win...oh no, we will not let them win...we must struggle on and fight this unholy war to the end...till only one remains (meaning me)...and I have the daddy long legs on my side...I don't know how tough they are in a fight...but I have their support...they are a member in my Coalition of the Willing...and as some guy said "I would rather lose an erection...er...inspection...oh, complexion...no introspection, than lose a war!" Kick ass, baby...the ants must die! Victory albeit slow will be mine...God willing...