Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

A quick how-to "leave your hair before your hair leaves you."

First invite a bunch of people over, particularly those from your neighboring commune.

Take responsibility for having the main dishes: chicken, bean burgers, zucchini and eggplant.

Have others bring salads and sides.



Set everything up outside for easy clean up...



Stock the bar (always a critical step).



Come up with a new fresh peach, crushed mint, rum delight for the event.




Finish dinner and then start the show.

Pause at the mohawk because how often in one's professional life do you get to sport a mohawk.

Then get back to it...

and voila!

You have a new look...

Then you shave that crazy toddler that wouldn't leave his mom, Eva Luna, alone...

Now he too is sporting a new look - the summer mohawk for the curious george.

(Once I get my memory card with the pictures I will update. Right now, this is all just courtesy of the camera phone...)

So You Think Its An Obsession

One of my most favorite things about the summer is enjoying So You Think You Can Dance. I just adore this reality show. I know, I know...and if you hate it, keep it to yourself. I fell for it Season 1 with Blake...remember him? (I know his audition piece was a bit of an odd intersection between contemporary and cheerleader...but there was something captivating.) Since then I start to get a bit anxious and restless the end of every May whining, "when will it staaaaaart?"

These are the simple things that lighten a working girls day.

Here is the deal - for those that also watch the show, I have a question?

What, I mean WHAT is the deal with the infatuation with Kayla?

She is driving me crazy! Every single week she finishes and they oooooh and awe, and I think "please, shhhh...shhhhhhhh, shhhhhhh, shh."

So anyway - frankly, I can take her or leave her and I am not voting for her. Yes, that is right - I vote. Let's not mock. My point is this I would be totally happy with the following 5 girls for the tour:

Melissa - who is statuesque, she looks as though the gods carved her from ivory then delicately blew breath into her...

Karla - who I am starting to think is freakishly smart not just as a dancer but as a person

Caitlin - a little to lilty for my taste, but she is strong and can create amazing lines with her ability to contort and flip herself upside down and such...it is amusing

Janette - because I love that Miami flavor and it gives you a ballroom dancer for the tour

and, Randi - because she is so damn cute and who else could Evan really dance with and I love him for the tour as well...

So, "jidges" that is my recommendation - if America puts Kayla down in the bottom this week, and next week and next week, we are telling you we could take her or leave her.

If you love her, then please let me know WHY? But I say, Melissa and Karla are musts to make it to the top 10...others we can negotiate.

Oh, and speaking of obsessions, how exactly does one get access to the SYTYCD Canada and Australia seasons...;)....seriously? I am out of control!



*and for you real dancers out there who think this whole thing is ridiculous...I say, "we are just having a bit of fun here...please excuse."

Pairing Part I

Yes, the art of pairing messy dirty food with the elegance and simplicity of wine...

If you were to google or bing or search using your preferred engine "wine and food" you will come up with hit after hit of pairing principles, pairing guides, pairing books, pairing cheat sheets and apps for your phone. It is a bit overdone in my opinion. I find that people get obsessed or even scared to "pair" because there is this notion that some deep dark secret principle exists and if you don't use it, then you are an idiot.

I am NOT a fan of anything that is about making others feel like their gut instinct is somehow fundamentally flawed.

Since last night was our Take It All Off Extravaganza for Eva Luna, I am short on time, but wanted to share a few thoughts about pairing.

Pairing at its core is simple.

Pairing - like tasting - is about you and your preferences, your quirks, your unique likes and dislikes.

There is only one thing you need to know about pairing at this time to help you understand where to start.

Food influences your palate and creates a tasting base. So when you then take a long sip from your wine, you will see that your food is telling you a little secret, it is setting the stage...

In response to the complexity of taste from your food, wine responds and points out something new in the dish. She says, "yes, but look over here too."

Pairing is not about matching - it is about a conversation!

Pairing is about beautiful communication so that both wine and food look at the same thing and give you a whole new perspective.

Pairing provides the underlying art of understanding -

two is better than one.

Speaking of two is better than one, please check out this video and VOTE for this perfect pair.

The Murphy-Goode Winery is running a contest for a Lifestyle Correspondent to be relocated to Sonoma County for a 6 month period and to blog, facebook and tweet about wine and Sonoma.

You can only vote for each applicant one time per email address and you MUST verify your vote from a link that is emailed to you following your vote submission.

It is important to do BOTH parts otherwise your vote will not be counted.

Please forward to others that you think might be interested in helping vote for Tara and Ali.

This Friday, June 26, 2009 is a HUGE because they are reducing the field to the top 50.

Currently, Tara and Ali are sitting in the top 17, but it is essential to keep them there and hopefully, move them higher on the list.

The next challenge will be pushing them up to the top 10.

For which, I am counting on you, all of you and your friends.

(We need at least 250 votes I think - at a minimum - and that is just today.)

So, please check out their video – and VOTE

For evidence of why they are a perfect pairing for this opportunity, check out their blog.

1,479,350

Since last Wednesday the conversation around our house has been,


"they said I would begin losing my hair by today - and I'm not - well...maybe a little, but not really."


"maybe I won't lose all my hair..."


"okay, some hair, but not all...it really seems to be staying on for the most part..."


such conversations have been peppered with other comments of,


"I just feel so tired."


"I want to go with you but I am scared that I will just lose steam once I get out."


Eva Luna is someone that must be doing 4 things at once - at all times. She is the high holy reigning priestess of multi-tasking.


So not having the energy to do things...Is.Driving.Her.Crazy.


Crazy.


On Saturday we went out for drinks and dinner because I had to get the stir-crazy cancer patient out of the house. She couldn't take being there anymore. When I brought the car around she was waiting outside - and I laughed and asked "but are you ready to go?"


We went to a place that we love where the tables are pretty close to one another - so you (or at least us) always end up talking to other tables and people. It is fun. Plus, they grow fresh mint for the mojitos. There is nothing better than when your waitress comes to your table and says, "it will be just a few minutes on your drinks, they have to go outside and pick it real quick." Love, love, love that.


We ended up meeting an older couple and their daughter who are traveling up and down the state for their daughter's work. They wanted to go up to the park the next day and tour guide that I am - I immediately started drawing maps, making suggestions and creating a day trip outline....


all on the back of the only receipt I could find in my purse,


which was for my recent purchase of 5 bras and 7 panties.


As we were talking, Eva Luna leans to me and says "I really want to invite the daughter to go out with us...should we?" I told her I was thinking the same thing, but she should ask.


The response an overwhelming and positive "yes!"



[Old (as in for long-time) Friend , Eva Luna in the middle and former stranger now New Friend on right - me with camera]



We had a great time. Eva Luna had a great time - and she really needed it.


It was a truly wonderful escape from all the realities we have been dealing with lately.


You see, I haven't mentioned it yet because frankly, I am still a little stunned and in shock, but I received a call last week from a dear friend, crying, because her amazing husband was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. To which we should all now collectively scream, "fuck!"


Yes, pancreatic cancer - for all you cancer groupies, that would be the 4th deadliest cancer.


This brings me to this number: 1,479,350


In 2009, the estimated new cancer cases diagnosed is 1,479,350.


In the United States - 1,479,350


That would be 4,053 new cancer cases a day.


Almost 169 new cases diagnosed each hour - 3 cases a minute!


In 3 minutes of reading this post, 9 new cases of cancer were diagnosed.


1 case is one too many.


I don't want "I am sorry...my thoughts are with you..." I know that - what I want is others to be just as pissed off as me! I am pissed! Pissed!


I have an idea - an ambitious crazy idea...that we will talk about later when I finish this crap I am working on for work.


This idea is too big, impossible and stupid - but so is cancer - so maybe it will help even the playing field a bit.


I might be breaking a bit emotionally right now because this morning,


this, morning...


shit, now I am crying...


this morning, Eva Luna's hair started to fall out.


Really fall out...the surreal you lean over and a chunk of hair hits your desk in front of you falls out.


So, in typical Filoli fashion - we are throwing a party.


A Take It All Off Extravaganza!


We will be shaving Eva Luna - and anyone else that is so inclined.


Not me - since the diagnosis I have been growing my hair out again for another wig donation.


This will be an outdoor barbecue affair - with swimming - and other things once I am able to pull myself back together and come up with something amusing and thematic...I welcome all suggestions.


1,479,350


1,479,350 for one year alone.


1,479,350


I know 3.


That leaves 1,479,347 - how many do you know?


I am ready to fight this disease.


I have always said I wish Cancer was corporeal so that I could jump it, kick it, push it down the stairs...in general beat it up.


Don't you think we can do something?



something?

Relapses and Such

As I sit here bleary eyed staring at my computer screen digging deep for the energy to work on the project (again) today a bit weak from taking out stir-crazy Eva Luna last night (meeting a visitor to our town from Nashville and taking her out with us) and getting in after 1:30 (no, what?, for a school night that is early - cut me a break I am not a graduate student anymore!), ALL I can think about or write it about is...

Eminem

What happened to him?

What the hell is this Relapse?

And this...what is this?



This album has been described as a journey with Eminem his descent "into darkness fueled by another failed marriage to his wife Kim and the death of his best friend Proof, culminating in years of drug addiction. Em none too subtly refers to that addiction with the title of Relapse, his first album in five years, but that relapse also refers to Marshall Mathers reviving Slim Shady and returning to rap. Relapse is designed to grab attention, to stand as evidence that Eminem remains a musical force and, of course, a provocateur spinning out violent fantasies and baiting celebrities..."

Are you kidding me?

It should read - This bright, young, painfully white as white, burn your eyes looking into the sun "Cock"asian rapper originally from the Show Me state who cut his teeth, chewed up and spit out the 8 mile flipped us off and ripped down the veil to new realities of poverty and pain in 1999 has Relapsed. Yes, we all have watched jaw-dropped and in awe of the unfortunate train wreck of events in your life, Em. We feel it. We felt it. It wasn't good and many sat on the edge of their seat in eager anticipation wondering how Em's unique rhyme would resurrect and interpret these pains into a lyrical equivalent of a rising phoenix.

Instead of something new - this is just a clone. A slightly less new and dirty mirror of the original Slim Shady - no transformation - no morphing into something new.

Unfortunately, the most painful Relapse in this release is the tiring overuse of a 10-year old formulaic approach to rap and hip hop of which Em was once the heavyweight champ. Perhaps in his recent emotional spiral there was a lack of awareness that musically we have not all been pause. We have moved forward...and in his own words we now wait and hope that he will lose himself...



and this Relapse will be ancient history.

Em, Remember, you "have no remorse," you "high powered," you "drop bombs like Hiroshima."

Oh, but please for the love of all things holy, don't tell him I said so. I am scared that at any moment this kinder, gentler Em who is jetting around promoting and appears to be now unbelievably tolerant (or a guy who would agree to stage such shenanigans guy) is going to crack!

and...Happy Father's Day!

Falling Slowly

*Until this is inevitably taken down..."words fall through me..."

Favorite Place to be a Wino

Oh, how I love my local wine bar...in my mind's eye when I am old and gray I will be sitting somewhere like this for lunch lingering over a fruit and cheese plate twirling a long-legged beauty of a white in a deep glass...

[fingers-crossed]

True Stories

When a baby is destined to die...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

For more information, without the recent bliar drama, about the very important work perinatal hospice.

Big Fat Bliar

Mommy Blogger Fakes Pregnancy with Terminally Ill Child


oh.my.goodness.
what a world, what a world

for mommy blogger comments...

if you are like me and can't turn your head from a traffic accident...go here,

and for the apology...

[giggle, giggle, giggle]

(I think it is the Gavin Degraw "Belief" playlist for the page that gave me the giggles...it is all too much, just too much...oy ve)

"That in mind, Gov. Palin if you're watching..."

Cost of Cancer

Even with private insurance (not uninsured or underinsured), cancer is expensive. New procedures, drugs and interventions are available and will continue to be available in the future at an exponential rate. Good news. Bad news - costs increase.

So as Quality is improving at an exponential rate.

So is Cost.

Increased Cost means decreased Access.

But if you are able to Access your needed health care, what is the Cost?

Please set aside a few minutes to watch this video,

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Another important link to another video - here

Here is a link to the Febuary 2009 report "Spending to Survive: Cancer Patients Confront Holes in the Health Insurance System."

Despite having private health insurance, cancer patients are running up large debts, filing for personal bankruptcy, and even delaying or forgoing treatment because they can't afford care.

But, don't we all - every one of us - deserve Access to Quality health care.

What are those costs to our society when we are not able to provide Access to those that are uninsured or underinsured?



June 27, 2009

is

National Health Care Day of Service



Are we going to make a difference?

Are we going to try and change this?

Am I my brother's keeper?

Are we a village?

Watershed

Some days it feels like all we have to go on is this reflection of life,

I find myself bare-knuckle seizing these refracted light images of things that are bigger,

stronger and more expansive than I can imagine.



I hope that this stolen still water glimpse of what is above my head,

what might be,

is true,

but I struggle to believe it.

Because as much as I may think I need it, this life is not written...

There is no way for me to skip to the last chapter and confirm,

in the end we all live happily ever after.

Instead, we have today,

and today is the first day of Eva Luna's chemotherapy.

In the midst of many tears and trips for new scarves,

(because who could bare to wear an insulting wig in the hot heat of summer)

we silently wonder and hope, "will this work?"

While bravely scaling this rocky-sided story arc of life,

our ropes suddenly slipped and we are bounced into another cavern.

A small light was born too early and too sick,

and now we must again wait and find a way to love an entire life everyday,

hour by hour,

we breathe slow and deep,

and wait.

Here, we know the last chapter,

and I am so grateful there is no book to read,

so, thank you, holy mysteries, that this too is not yet written.

I can look back and see peaks and valleys,

and can fairly scale and map the distances in the future for this journey.

But I really just want to be able look up,

and enjoy the view...

because

"

when you are learning to face the path at your pace

every choice is worth your while

"

(Watershed, Indigo Girls)

so as Sinead says,

thank you for breaking my heart,
thank you for tearing me apart,
Now, I've a strong, strong heart,
thank you for breaking my heart.

*Half Full edited

Today, I am choosing to see this glass as half full.

Frankly, not always my style to take such a view. But today - it is half full.

Perhaps, I am still over-the-top mad happy about all of the good and positive news that appears to be whirling through the universe lately. So when I received the call yesterday that we will have to start our home study over again because our social worker assigned to us has left the agency and the new social worker feels like the process needs to start over from. the. beginning.

From the very beginning - office interview beginning,

I was not ecstatic.

Here we have been living in an A.D. era and we are being sent to B.C. times again with square wheel efficiency and speed.

By some miracle I do not feel like some burdened victim who has unfortunately landed on the wrong square and been shuttled to the start of the game with a $200 penalty.

I have no idea why I am not upset.

(Maybe I should be upset that I am not upset.)

No.

It is what it is.

(Ignore the introduction and just go straight to the delightful Ms. Chapman.)

In the meantime, I repeat "half full."

* To the individual who anonymously sent me an email to "QUIT" in response to this post, I would appreciate an explanation. Perhaps, something a bit more substantive and responsive so that I might better understand your position and advice for me. Obviously, you are blessed with a unique insight and/or perspective about me and this process and I welcome the criticism.

As someone who values introspection and the opportunities to improve my character and decision making, I am interested in your opinion. However, I find "QUIT" woefully inadequate and disturbingly superficial for me to comprehensively respond to your presumably well-intended advice.

That said, regardless of whether my husband and I elect to "QUIT" or continue through the endless and frustrating bureaucratic fost-adopt process or another adoption process the glass is still. fucking. half. full.

half. full.

half.

full.

half full

Yo, Yo, Yo, Wino Wednesday

I had a special visitor this week. A dear friend who also enjoys the grape came to visit.

So, we decided to hit up a bar with a good selection, a little blanc de noir, some cheese, some smoked meats...



but we also decided this bar should have a pretty good view,

and some altitude,

so we went here...

to get a good view,

then we went down to the valley,

so that we could stretch our legs a bit more and walk around,

and check out the local falls,

you know...an average run of the mill day trip when a friend is visiting. ;)

This was a great Wino Wednesday.

(and we made it home in time for SYTYCD)

as the shirt says, "Life is Good."

Last Week,

we climbed mountains,

we carefully descended into valleys,

we lazily strolled amongst old friends for picnics and cool wood breezes,

we danced and toasted for a long awaited celebration,

we went on slow twilight bike rides with long talks,

we rushed to meet deadlines,

we woke up early for miles of riding,

we reflected on the force and currents of life and water,

we rewarded hard work with good food,

we enjoyed simple pleasures and small town airport diners,

we are ready to accept the new challenges and surprises of this summer.