"they said I would begin losing my hair by today - and I'm not - well...maybe a little, but not really."
"maybe I won't lose all my hair..."
"okay, some hair, but not all...it really seems to be staying on for the most part..."
such conversations have been peppered with other comments of,
"I just feel so tired."
"I want to go with you but I am scared that I will just lose steam once I get out."
Eva Luna is someone that must be doing 4 things at once - at all times. She is the high holy reigning priestess of multi-tasking.
So not having the energy to do things...Is.Driving.Her.Crazy.
Crazy.
On Saturday we went out for drinks and dinner because I had to get the stir-crazy cancer patient out of the house. She couldn't take being there anymore. When I brought the car around she was waiting outside - and I laughed and asked "but are you ready to go?"
We went to a place that we love where the tables are pretty close to one another - so you (or at least us) always end up talking to other tables and people. It is fun. Plus, they grow fresh mint for the mojitos. There is nothing better than when your waitress comes to your table and says, "it will be just a few minutes on your drinks, they have to go outside and pick it real quick." Love, love, love that.
We ended up meeting an older couple and their daughter who are traveling up and down the state for their daughter's work. They wanted to go up to the park the next day and tour guide that I am - I immediately started drawing maps, making suggestions and creating a day trip outline....
all on the back of the only receipt I could find in my purse,
which was for my recent purchase of 5 bras and 7 panties.
As we were talking, Eva Luna leans to me and says "I really want to invite the daughter to go out with us...should we?" I told her I was thinking the same thing, but she should ask.
The response an overwhelming and positive "yes!"
[Old (as in for long-time) Friend , Eva Luna in the middle and former stranger now New Friend on right - me with camera]We had a great time. Eva Luna had a great time - and she really needed it.
It was a truly wonderful escape from all the realities we have been dealing with lately.
You see, I haven't mentioned it yet because frankly, I am still a little stunned and in shock, but I received a call last week from a dear friend, crying, because her amazing husband was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. To which we should all now collectively scream, "fuck!"
Yes, pancreatic cancer - for all you cancer groupies, that would be the 4th deadliest cancer.
This brings me to this number: 1,479,350
In 2009, the estimated new cancer cases diagnosed is 1,479,350.
In the United States - 1,479,350
That would be 4,053 new cancer cases a day.
Almost 169 new cases diagnosed each hour - 3 cases a minute!
In 3 minutes of reading this post, 9 new cases of cancer were diagnosed.
1 case is one too many.
I don't want "I am sorry...my thoughts are with you..." I know that - what I want is others to be just as pissed off as me! I am pissed! Pissed!
I have an idea - an ambitious crazy idea...that we will talk about later when I finish this crap I am working on for work.
This idea is too big, impossible and stupid - but so is cancer - so maybe it will help even the playing field a bit.
I might be breaking a bit emotionally right now because this morning,
this, morning...
shit, now I am crying...
this morning, Eva Luna's hair started to fall out.
Really fall out...the surreal you lean over and a chunk of hair hits your desk in front of you falls out.
So, in typical Filoli fashion - we are throwing a party.
A Take It All Off Extravaganza!
We will be shaving Eva Luna - and anyone else that is so inclined.
Not me - since the diagnosis I have been growing my hair out again for another wig donation.
This will be an outdoor barbecue affair - with swimming - and other things once I am able to pull myself back together and come up with something amusing and thematic...I welcome all suggestions.
1,479,350
1,479,350 for one year alone.
1,479,350
I know 3.
That leaves 1,479,347 - how many do you know?
I am ready to fight this disease.
I have always said I wish Cancer was corporeal so that I could jump it, kick it, push it down the stairs...in general beat it up.
Don't you think we can do something?
something?
6 comments:
I wish we could. It does fucking suck and I'm pissed off too.
Cindy
It sucks. It's senseless. I'm afraid I'm numb - have been for awhile - I want to hear your idea - I hope it takes the numbness away.
Thanks so much for your kind words the other day - they mean a lot to me.
Yup, I know too, too, too many too.
Two years or so ago, when we talked about cancer in the family, I would say: Breast cancer killed all the women in my grandmother's family. She had it too, but she pulled through.
Now I have to say: it got her too, in the end.
So I can be as mad as you like.
I'm so sorry another friend of yours has cancer. :( :( It sucks so bad....
Wow. We are beyond overwhelmed. Came over here to thank you for your kind words and your amazing support and here I am sitting teary eyed at the computer screen having read this post. That said, your post is inspiring and we can, will, and have do something to makes strides against this terrible disease. Thank you for everything.
I am ready for the biggest Fuck Cancer party of the year...I am pretty sure that most Americans would join in.
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