This is the Day

Life is always interesting

and sometimes more interesting than you would care for

but it is.

I apologize for vagueness...but it is still necessary.

Thursday, February 12th, someone I love and care for deeply in my family,

who is young

found a suspicious lump in her breast.

Immediately she was sent for a mammogram

then they sent her quickly for an ultrasound.

It was undeniable.

A lump.

Next, they scheduled a visit with a breast surgeon.

Oh, but you have to wait a week.

So we had a long weekend with the holiday...

then pushed through 2 more days of work...

then back to the doctor.

And that was the day of the unofficial/official cancer diagnosis.

Thursday, February 19th

We bought her a new pair of kick ass boots

it seemed appropriate

if one is going to be ass kicking, one should have new boots.

We drank sake.

We waited around because they wanted to schedule a biopsy procedure that night.

We talked, we cried, we laughed, we walked around in a bit of a daze...

the entire day was surreal

it was one of the moments where you notice everything

the weight of your phone in your hand as you are telling your husband the results,

the way the light was bouncing around the store,

the length of the traffic light,

everything was noticed.

it was that day.

We went to the biopsy,

things got more serious.

We needed a drink,

someone suggested cocktails,

I said "no, boobtails."

We drank pink drinks,

we went home,

and Friday was the day after that day.

All we had to do now was wait till Tuesday,

and Tuesday we get information,

the type of cancer,

receptors,

proliferation,

all on Tuesday.

The weekend was painful.

I am tired.

I want to call off all life activity.

I want to suspend the adoption process.

I want to not go to work.

I just want time to stop.

Monday eternal.

Tuesday.

Time was insufferable.

Shortly before we were scheduled for our visit,

all family in town for the meeting,

we get a call,

we need to reschedule to Thursday,

the pathology report is not in.

I found this unacceptable.

I made calls.

We received our pathology report on Tuesday.

It's cancer.

We knew that.

It's infiltrating.

We figured.

It's in your ducts.

Duh.

It's carcinoma.

We know it's cancer.

Now we talk about options and make plans.

Now she has to go for additional testing.

So Wednesday the second round of testing began to test for metastasis.

We received an addendum to the original pathology report.

The word 'unfavorable' appeared.

I hate that word.

This morning, I dropped off lab reports,

I was pulling away from the house

and in my rear view mirror

I saw my husband heading out for a walk

with my oldest niece

and my youngest nephew.

They are the same age as a sibling set we were presented last week to consider.

They headed off into the bright sun,

walking,

Alpha pushing a stroller,

dogs twisting leashes around wheels and children.

Today, in less than 20 minutes

we will find out if the cancer is outside of the breast.

Today, Thursday, February 26th

and all I can think,

all I can feel,

the only thing that has been in my mind,

is,

today, is the day

that the lord has made.