A Day and Night of Equal Length

I have too many thoughts right now. Just too many.

I have many things that I should be doing right now, but I am distracted. So, I am taking a lunch to see if I can get some of this out of my head.

First, this post just rocked me this morning for many reasons but also by simply mentioning avidya.

Avidya means "illusion" or "delusion" but as it relates to your finite self - not your infinite self.

So an illusion or delusion about one's body or physical being - but not your soul.

As Michelle references, avidya is very much about this ever present concern in yoga that we might be suppressing the real nature of things in order to present the image or notion of something else in its place. Typically this discussion is centered around "can you actually even have a yoga class in a high-member giant gym setting - is that yoga?" But, this was also a good point about our approach and how we enter the home of yoga.

Not so long ago, some of my family and friends were having a conversation over a fantastic bottle of wine about biodynamic farming and sustainable agriculture, blah, blah, blah and one of the individuals mentioned their secret and disturbing love of a highly processed crap food that I will not mention.

To which I sighed, lifted my glass and said "but we all love avidya, that is the problem with avidya..."

Highly processed edible products suppress the real nature of things and present something else in its place - and loving illusion becomes or at least seems easier. Avidya.

But the core concept of avidya is as it relates to our finite self...and typically, that is how I think of it. Some of our illusions about who we are and what we can accomplish are just false. Thus, my love of the Biggest Loser. You get to watch people confront avidya and clearly I find it to be quite entertaining.

Maya is something the same and yet profoundly different. Maya also means "illusion" but as it relates to your cosmic, spiritual self. It is a concept that I struggle with all the time. So, I found myself a bit disoriented not so long ago as I was being guided through a maya yoga flow. I really do not fully understand the flow or the idea other than I found it somewhat disorienting, daring, profound and oddly balancing. So much so that I think in some ways, that is where I should be right now - somewhat off balance and embracing the inevitable illusion of cosmic self.

Why, why, why am I babbling on and on about this?

Because Saturday night was a high school reunion for Eva Luna and to go to such an event bald takes a considerable amount of vayu (animating energy). To be bald at such an event is considerable karma. Please understand that karma is not some Hindu golden rule sort of thing.

Here is an oversimplified explanation of karma: for every desire there exists a resistance to that desire...so really, karma is resistance. So the desire to go to this event and see people while not wanting to be seen by people you haven't spoken to in a long time and you really don't want to talk about your cancer treatment is resistance.

In getting ready for the event, Eva Luna was having a hell of a time. She was just having a bitch of a time with the false eyelashes...it is one thing to not have hair on your head, but eyelashes that are MIA are in fact considerably disturbing to one's notion of self. So she was just fighting and fighting and fighting with trying to make them work, and then that stress leads to another stress, to another stress...all mounting up into an even more heightened-lump-in-the-back-of-your-throat desire to scream "fuck it - I am not going." But you can't really call it off when the 5 other people that you are going with are all sitting in your living room chatting and waiting on you - and you are responsible for bringing some things to the party.

It would have been easy to be trapped by avidya.

But instead, Eva Luna trusted maya and ripped off the fake eyelashes.

As such...

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the Bald At Reunion with No Eyelashes Asana.

Picture not included, but I promise it was quite the sight to see.

This is yoga.

Eva Luna made a list of goals and activities during chemo that she wanted to do when she felt better again. Yoga is on her list but she is having a hard time finding time, scheduling, living life coming back from all of this crap, [insert the million of reasons everyone has on a daily basis - you know, avidya].

But in so many ways, she is already a yogi.

This is why I sabotaged the voting and Eva Luna was awarded

"Most Changed Since High School."

I know!

But maybe sometimes a little avidya is necessary to provide profound insight into maya.

(and it was hilarious because I knew that the prize included hair dye)


So in answer to Michelle's question: who are your teachers?

Prior to Saturday,

I would have blathered on about"I don't know...see that is what I need, I am trying" yackity-yack-yack.

Today my answer is

"I am learning that I have many teachers.

One of which is Eva Luna."


Namaste.

No - I mean it, I am saying to you - yes, you

Namaste.