Goodness Gracious

Well, what an interesting and amazing week.

We had this...



which was amazing...and then a number of beautiful and thoughtful posts and comments.


This is breaking my heart...


If you don't know what is going on, here is a quick recap...

I have been working like mad this week and next week will be just as busy. I probably should have gone out and met up with some friends for a drink tonight since I am just sitting at home alone right now. But by the time I got my home from work tonight all I wanted to do was put on pajamas, cuddle up with the dogs in bed and catch up on the news. [I am frankly a little shocked about that whole Africa is a country not a continent ding-dong statement...obviously I find this particularly repugnant given the humanitarian crises that are currently ravaging Africa...I hate to say we dodged a bullet when frankly it never should have been chambered.]

I ended up spending about 15 hours with a client yesterday and it turns out he and his wife are going through the adoption process right now as well. It continues to amaze me how this entire new world just opens up to you and you continue to meet people with adoption stories and experiences. This was NOT the case with fertility crap at all. In the land of lupron it feels like you are not simply alone but sentenced to a hormonal hell isolation.

I was able to call the fost adopt agency this week to check in and get information and updates on things we need to do to finish our application.

I continue to wrestle with feelings of inadequacy and stress about my abilities to parent. I start to feel confident about an older child placement and then freak myself out. But then I remember this great commercial...

and I feel better and the bigger picture becomes a bit more clear.

So, Alpha is off at a Pampers Party tonight. I don't know if your friends have this phenomenon, but here we have this ritual where the guys get together for a weekend or at least one night of all male drinking bonding hanging out...whatever they do...party before the baby arrives. The only requirement - bring diapers. I think it is pretty cute.

Here is a pic from one of their Vegas Man Showers...yes, that is Alpha just walking around carrying a 12 pack on the strip...

It is so funny to me that for a long time these sort of events would depress me and my evil green monster of insecurity and poor-me would rage. Today, I feel like my old self. I feel genuinely and completely happy for the new parents. This is odd to me because I do not feel at all settled or secure about our adoption plan and periodically indulge in thoughts that a social worker will give us a big "no" on adopting...but I feel pretty darn good and at peace. I really hope this lasts...

I have a 1/2 Marathon this weekend and my sister and sister-in-law will be running it with me. My plan is to stay together no matter how long we are out there since it is Eva Luna's first big long distance. Wino Wednesday for this week is delayed till next week. I promise to work on it this weekend.

My only assignment prior to Wino Wednesday is to clean the house since apparently my house is not able to clean itself. So I should probably tackle that monster in the morning.